The Story We Tell Ourselves

26 Apr

“The last, if not the greatest, of the human freedoms: to choose their own attitude in any given circumstance.”- Bruno Bettelheim

How many times do you find yourself telling your story and what is it about? Are you a victim of your life or are you a Victor? Is your story about what happened to you or is your story about how you happened in your life? So you don’t like what’s happening now? Change your story. Yes it is that simple.

Every once in a while I will have a new client come in and I’ll say “How are you?” They’ll say, “I’m depressed.” And I say, “Dang right! You keep telling yourself that you are going to be depressed.” Or they’ll say, “My husband is not doing well, I don’t know what to do about it.” Well first thing, you can’t enable him by letting him live that sad story he’s living in his mind. Snap out of it. Once you label something as “bad” guess what?  It’s going to be BAD.

Try this next time something happens that you REALLY didn’t want to happen just do not react. Take a moment, stop and BREATHE. Take the master’s approach and do not judge the moment as “bad”. Simply let the moment be what it is and see the gift that is below your normal reaction, your normal label. Um, your normal story telling.

Things always have a way of working out. How many times have things gone “wrong” or “not worked out” in your life to later turn out to be HUGE blessings?

Try to keep that sense of peace and calm in this “happening” moment by looking at the bigger picture and remembering that this is happening for a kind and compassionate reason. To label an event as “bad” and then to attach a story to that event that disempowers you, will not help you grow, be happy or find peace of mind. Get out of the little picture you are in as victim, move into victor and look at the big picture. It helps!

The only thing you truly have control over in your life is the MEANING which you GIVE TO EVENTS. Almost everything else is out of your control.  Like my quote says,  you have the freedom to choose your own attitude in any given circumstance!  The story you tell yourself about the events that happen in your life, and the MEANING you give that story, will directly affect the quality of your life.

Tell an empowering story. Give a positive and empowering meaning to that story and detach from the need to react like you would normally. The more you do this, the smoother life will become – not because there are fewer problems – but because you have come to understand the true gifts of the problems in your life.

Once you do this, the Universe can give you EVEN bigger problems to be grateful for and learn from. This is how you become successful. Tell an empowering story about the events of your life, give that story an empowering meaning and watch the magic unfold! Quit telling that “poor me” story and living in victim-hood because something happened to you. Get out there and see how you happened to your life and become the Victor you are meant to be!! -Kathie

Evil, What Evil?

28 Feb

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish You spoil it with too much poking Approach the Universe with the Tao and evil will have no power.
Not that evil is not powerful, but its power will not be used to harm others.
Not only will it not do harm to others but the sage himself will also be protected.
If only the ruler and his people would refrain from harming each other,
all the benefits of life would accumulate in the kingdom.
-Verse 60 of the Tao Te Ching
 

If you have no ill thoughts toward yourself or others the powers of wickedness and wrongdoing will be rendered impotent. It is divine law that you are protected and as long as you give evil nothing to oppose it will disappear.

Have you ever fried a fish and poked it so much that it just turned to mush? Well that is what Lao Tzu is trying to say here about governing a larger country. You spoil it with too much poking. And if we were to approach life with the same attitude evil would have no power. 

A friend of mine told me a story that is very relevant to this. She said that one day her hair salon was broken into. When the robbers broke in they stole jewelry from the nail tech and then the robbers actually bagged up products of Lydia’s. They stole things of value from the nail tech but the robbers ended up leaving my friend’s stuff. It turned out that my friend was protected somehow. The robbers bagged up those items but did not take them.

Here is another great relevant story that I read in one of Dr. Joseph Murphy’s books. He said he had a conference with an ex-Sergeant of the Army, who had just returned from Vietnam. He told of a fascinating and absorbing episode which had occurred during his tour of duty there. One afternoon when he was on patrol with his men they walked right into six Viet Cong soldiers, who immediately killed all five men in his patrol before they could lift their rifles. Obviously, the Viet Cong had seen them coming and had ambushed them.

The enemy soldiers looked straight at him but never spoke or indicated they saw him. They went through the pockets of his men and took papers, weapons, and all contents. He was amazed and could not understand it. He found his way back to his battalion and later wrote about his experience to his mother in Kentucky. She wrote back: “They did not see you, son. They could not see you or touch you because I have prayed daily, ‘My son will always be invisible to the enemy. God is his refuge and fortress.’”

This man’s mother decreed constantly that her son would be invisible to the enemy and would be protected by God. According to Dr. Murphy this was communicated to her son’s subconscious mind, which responded according to the impression or decree given. Every letter she wrote her son concluded with these words taken from the 46th Psalm: “God shall help you, and that right early.”

Undoubtedly these letters and prayers written by his mother had a profound effect upon him and made a deep impression in his subconscious mind, which responded to her conviction of God’s protection for him.

He gave evil nothing to oppose and it disappeared, actually he disappeared!

Be strong in mind and spirit and you too will find evil disappearing from your life.

Action Precedes Motiviation – New Year’s Resolution Key

13 Dec

The time is upon us! Time to prepare for new year resolutions. I am here to help you. Here is the first of a few posts to get you motivated to start 2011 fresh!!

Bad habits that keep you from reaching optimal health, such as smoking, drinking or overeating don’t have to follow you into the New Year. However, if you don’t want these habits hanging around for another 12 months, you must prepare yourself psychologically.

Experts agree that no matter how stubborn a habit you’ve developed, there are ways to break those negative patterns and keep healthy resolutions throughout the New Year. The trick is to keep everything in perspective. Perspective, now I like that!!

“Focus on realistic goals with measurable results,” says Jill RachBeisel, M.D., director of Community Psychiatry at the University of Maryland Medical Center and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. “You need to break things down into small steps that you can manage.”

For example, Dr. RachBeisel says that, instead of trying to lose 50 pounds, you should focus on losing five pounds at a time. Instead of trying to lose five pounds a week, focus on losing one pound a week.

“Create bite-sized jobs for yourself that you’ll be able to accomplish,” states Dr. RachBeisel. “If your goal is too big, you’ll feel defeated before you even get started.”

When deciding on your New Year’s resolutions, it is easy to get swept up in hopeful yearning. As the clock ticks away the final minutes of the old year, the excitement can be intoxicating. You believe that you’ll be able to tackle your goals effortlessly. But, after the initial rush of New Year’s celebration fades and reality sets in, your ambitions can once again seem insurmountable.

According to Hinda Dubin, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and psychiatrist at the University of Maryland Medical Center, the key to achieving even your most lofty goals is to get started immediately.

Action precedes motivation, not the other way around,” said Dr. Dubin. “People often think that they should wait until they are motivated to start doing something good for themselves. They say, ‘I’ll start that diet or fitness program when I’m really well rested and have a lot of energy’. But it doesn’t work that way.”

Dr. Dubin says that instead of waiting for inspiration to act on your goals, you need to take action first and inspiration will follow. Your initial action doesn’t have to be anything big. Just by putting on your sneakers and hopping on the treadmill for 10 minutes, you will make that energy you are “waiting” for materialize.

“Once you initiate an action — even the smallest of actions — you pick up momentum and you realize, ‘Hey, this isn’t so bad,’ and it becomes a lot easier to keep moving forward and to stay motivated,” says Dr. Dubin.

Expert Advice

University of Maryland experts offer these additional tips to help you reach your goals:

  • Avoid perfectionist thinking. While we certainly always want to better ourselves, it is healthier to think in positive terms than it is to focus on how much we fall short of our aspirations. In other words, students should view the grade of an A- as better than a B, rather than not as good as an A.
  • View setbacks as lessons for growth. Mistakes can be, and usually are, opportunities for learning. If you fall short of your goals, ask yourself what kept you from achieving them and then try to make corrections. People who like to sail understand this navigational concept. You almost never go directly from point A to point B. You set a course and periodically take readings of your position then make adjustments as you go along.
  • Don’t make absolute resolutions. Keep them realistic. For example, Dr. Dubin suggests that instead of saying you won’t yell at your kids anymore, resolve to yell at them less often.
  • Don’t keep your resolutions to yourself. Tell someone you trust about your resolutions. Dr. Dubin says that it helps to share your goals with friends, who can gently nudge you in the right direction when you veer off course.
  • Give them some meaning. According to Dr. RachBeisel, people sometimes make goals that aren’t necessarily meaningful to them. Your goal should be something you really desire to change or achieve, not something that society says is good for you to do or your family members would like to see you do. If you don’t have strong, internal motivation within yourself, you won’t be successful.
  • Take baby steps. Set realistic goals that are attainable and then take small steps that are likely to be met with success toward those goals. Don’t try to lose 10 pounds in a week or quit smoking cold turkey with no preparation. Instead, try joining a weight loss program and try to lose a pound a week, or join a smoking cessation group.
  • Fine-tune your spirituality. Dr. Dubin says that it is important to add a spiritual dimension to your goals. For example, if one of your goals is to get fit, you may also resolve to get outdoors more often instead of going to the gym. Time outside will help you get in balance with nature, and will honor both the physical and spiritual sides of yourself.

Thanks Mastin for The Daily Love

05 Dec

As a Life Coach I am always on the lookout for great information for my clients. The Daily Love is one of the best gems on the web!! The Daily Love boasts of being a “FREE daily e-multivitamin for your soul.” I wholeheartedly agree!! Mastin Kipp is the founder of the The Daily Love.  And daily it is!! Every single morning at 6am (Central Standard Time US) promptly my email box has this wonderful inspiration in it from The Daily Love. I honestly look forward to reading this and soak up every single word. Often times I pass on some quotes to my friends and clients on facebook, or on twitter, or I place them in my “Gem Bowl” on my desk at the studio. And  today I share with you one of my favorites in a blog post right here. I highly recommend you go to The Daily Love yourself and sign up for this daily email. Or should I say, daily e-multivitamin for your soul. 

 Thanks Mastin for the blessings you bestow up many in this lifetime! -Kathie 🙂

And now for the Daily Love’s Daily Email for December 5, 2010 

TODAY’sQUOTES
“To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.” – Bruce Lee, one of the most influential martial artists of the 20th century, and a cultural icon.

“Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” – Mohandas Gandhi, was the pre-eminent political and ideological leader of India during the Indian independence movement.

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” – Thomas Jefferson, was the third President of the United States & the principal author of the Declaration of Independence. Jefferson was one of the most influential Founding Fathers.

MASTINSAYS
My name is Mastin Kipp & I am the Founder of The Daily Love.

Do not attach your self worth to the circumstances of your life. What happens “out there” does not define who you are. When things don’t go your way, when things go “wrong”, and especially if you do not seem to currently have enough money, do not attach a story or sense of self worth to your circumstances.

Who you really are, the powerful being within you, can decide to take charge and CHANGE your current circumstances. If you were indeed just your circumstances you would not be able to change them.

The mere fact that you have make a different choice, educate yourself, raise your standards and want better for yourself means that you are more than your circumstances. If you weren’t, there is no way you would even be able to have thoughts of change.

Realize this profound Truth – that you are not your circumstances. You have the most powerful force available to you right now – the power of choice. To want more. To become who you know you really are, beyond your fear, to embrace the Unknown with a cool and confident knowing that “you got this”.

Detach from any stories you tell yourself that attach your worth to your circumstances. Circumstances are neutral. You are strong and able to change your circumstances.

TODAY’sAFFIRMATIONS
I change my circumstances by aligning my thoughts and actions with what I want.

I am more than my circumstances; I am the powerful creator of my life.

I know that this too will pass.

I’ve got this!

UNI-VERSE
Many of you have asked why we say “Uni-verse” – so we added a “Why Uni-verse?” section to the website. To find out the answer click here.

Your Testimony as Your Gift This Holiday

17 Nov

Want a great gift to give your family and friends this holiday? How about your testimony? Your testimony is important and should not be kept a secret. You should tell your story. And honestly you might want to make God or your Higher Power the core of it all. Let your family and friends know where you have found God’s faithfulness to be true and an important aspect of your life. Let them know the seasons when you wondered about and possibly wandered from the core that has sustained you. This could be the all important impact you make on another’s life.

Here is a list of things you could answer that would tell a good part of the salvation story of your life. This is just part of a list that came from Anthony deMello, a spiritual theologian. Write yours and give your testimony as a gift to your family and friends this holiday.

  1. These things I have loved in my life.
  2. These ideas have brought me liberation.
  3. These beliefs I have outgrown.
  4. These convictions I have lived by.
  5. These sufferings have seasoned me.
  6. These influences have shaped my life.
  7. These persons are enshrined within my heart.
  8. These scripture texts have lit my path.
  9. These things I regret about my life.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. Give the gift this holiday! -Kathie 🙂

photo/flickr.com/ideasforchristmas2010

Nature Knows When to Eat and So Do You

12 Aug

Nature knows when to eat. So do you, you may have lost touch with it. Get in balance starting now.

If  you have a bird feeder you know that birds do not eat all day long. There are certain times of day when there are a lot of birds at the feeder and then certain times of day when the feeder has few to no birds at all. This is a fact of nature.  Birds, fish, and animals of all kinds are in tune with a certain “clock” that tells them it is time to eat. It has something to do with the moon I am told. But we humans can get in tune with this as well – it is in us too! By the way, if you are a fisherman a wise investment would be a bird feeder. If the birds are eating so are the fish!

This same biological clock that ticks in the birds also ticks in us. You can get in touch with it by meditating. Read my post on meditation by clicking here. Once in tune with this “clock” you will find that you eat for fuel not just for fun. Funny thing when you eat for fuel your body weight balances out and things just fall into place.

See why meditation is so important?

Start obvserving nature more and appreciating the ebb and flow of the world. Relax into it and you will find that your “problems” whether they be getting into shape or eating right will fall right into place where they belong. Just like the birds you’ll be eating right on time!! 🙂 Kathie

photos/flickr.com/dagnyg

Free and Powerful Life Changing E-Course

26 Jul

Sign up for a FREE and very powerful life changing e Course. I guarantee it is powerful and life changing!! I am taking it myself and I have posted some of the class material in my blog. I love this material because it was written a long time ago.  Enjoy!

Get your Free 21-Day Prosperity eCourse plus free self-help ebooks as well as valuable internet marketing tools by clicking here:

Click Here now to sign up for your FREE course!

 

Meditation is a Must. Only 8 Minutes Per Day!

17 Jul

Meditation is so important in life. This simple sentence is a basic truth. I want a no excuses on including meditation in your daily life. Eight minutes per day is all you need and it will drastically change your life. Everyone has 8 minutes to spare and I am asking you right now to make a contract with yourself to perform mediation 8 minutes per day for the rest of your life. Yes you can permit a day or two off for illness or emergency. But once you start this process you won’t want to miss.  I can guarantee you that.

What is mediation? It is a simple process where you go into a quiet place and sit still for 8 minutes. That is it. You will want to deep breathe and focus on your breathing. Yes your mind will wander, even the most enlightened meditators have minds that wander. But this is normal.

Here are three very important things about medition that you must know:

 Breathe deeply and focus as much as you can on your breathing.

To truly relax into meditation you will want to breathe deep and slow. Most of us do not even know how to do this. Right now take a very deep breathe, all the way into your belly, hold, now release that breathe. That is a deep, relaxing, meditation breathe.

Two things you can do for the thoughts that jump in to your mind are (these are taken straight from the book – 8 Minute Meditaton by Victor Davich. There is a link to the book at the bottom of this post.

Allow…Allow….Allow…

Just as the first rule of real estate is “location, location, location” the first rule of meditation is “allow, allow, allow.” When you meditate you absolutely must allow everything that arises to arise – and you exclude nothing. This affords you a clear, unobstructed view of the 93 ring circus that is your thinking mind.

When you sit down to meditate you own mind chatter is going to come pouring out. Some thoughts will be pleasant, blissful, and even funny. Others might be depressing, frightening, and horrible. Naturally you will want to stay with the good stuff and push away the bad stuff.

Don’t.

When you meditate, just meditate. Allow every thought, image, and body sensation to “dance its dance.” And you just sit this one out.

Please remember that meditation is not causing your wild displays of mind. The truth is that Roving Mind is always present. The major difference is that, for the first time in your life, you’re noticing it and dealing with it in a brand new, better way.

Catch and Release

Catch and release goes hand in hand with “allow…allow…allow.”

In the world of fly fishing “catch and release” means that after you catch a fish, you unhook it and release it back into the stream. This is exactly what you want to do with every thought , image, and body sensations that you’ll feel compelled to tangle with.

For example, let’s say you are meditating, when out of nowhere, the image of the maniac in the huge SUV who cut you off on the highway last evening pops into your mind. Suddenly, you are fantasizing about how you’d like to get even with the driver – devising punishments that would make the Marquis deSade cringe! Your body becomes increasingly flushed and feverish. You are seething with rage and righteousness.

So what’s going on here?

In catch and release terms, you’ve “hooked” a thought that has now triggered a cascade of other thoughts, images, and body sensations. In a split second your mind has created a drama that permeates every aspect of your being.

Now, let’s turn this scenario again, this time using catch and release. Same image of the jerk in the SUV, same angry thoughts, but now you realize what’s going on. And you say to yourself, “Oh I’ve hooked a thought. I’ll just release it. Which you do, instead of reeling it in, throwing it into your creel, taking it home, scaling it, filletting, frying, and eating it.”

See how much easier – and wonderful – this is? This simple act of thought releasing is your ticket to freedom – the freedom NOT to engage. Keep doing this, and allow it to lead you to deeper states of awareness, clarity, and peace in everything you do.

Anglers tell tales about “the one that got away.” In meditation, that’s not something we regret, but applaud.

Click on the link below to learn more about the book and to buy it now! Thank you for your business. Happy meditating!!! -Kathie 🙂

Great Tweets Sing the Loudest

12 Jul

 

Twitter, it is a great social networking site and it can greatly improve your life and I am going to share with you here why and how to go about getting it on your smart phone and more. I get alot of my great quotes that I use in my “Gems Bowl” and on my Face Book Page from the people I follow on Twitter.

So what is Twitter you ask? Twitter is a social networking and microblogging service that enables its users to send and read other user messages called tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters displayed on the author’s profile page. Tweets are publicly visible by default, however senders can restrict message delivery to their friends list. Users may subscribe to other author tweets — this is known as following and subscribers are known as followers. As of late 2009, users can follow lists of authors instead of following individual authors.  All users can send and receive tweets via the Twitter website, compatible external applications (such as, for smartphones), or by Short Message Service (SMS) available in certain countries.

Click on this link for more information about Twitter. On that link there is information about how you can use Twitter to stay in touch with your friends, how you can promote your business, and even how to put it on your smartphone.

I have Twitter on my Blackberry and I absolutely love it. I look at recent “tweets” and I get motivated!! If I am waiting anywhere like Walmart, the doctor’s office, or just sitting around needing something to stimulate my brain I just open up my Twitter App and read away.

Below are my Top Five People I follow and five of my favorite recent tweets:

1. TheDailyLove:

  • Its easy to be afraid and shy away from life! But you’re not taking the EZ path! Stand up for your dreams! Be bold.
  • Cast away fear, see success in your mind… Take action from that vision of success! Create YOUR day!
  • Challenge: When a negative thought enters your mind, think three positive ones. TRAIN YOURSELF to flip the script!
  • Build belief in yourself daily, strengthen it with faith… Eventually your belief muscles will be stronger than any fear.
  • Don’t you dare turn back! The hardest part happens right before your achieve your goal.

2. RalphMarston:

  • If you allow good things to happen, they will. If you worry about them not happening, they won’t.
  • Even when the going is slow, keep going. Persistence has more power than you can now realize.
  • Discipline does not have to be punishment. When you discipline yourself, it is empowerment.
  • Put your mind where you want to go. It will lead you there.
  • Make a little progress. Turn a burden into a blessing.

3. iheartquotes:

  • “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is important than fear.” ~Ambrose Redmoon
  • “Impossible is not a word, it’s just a reason for someone not to try.” ~ Kutless – What Faith Can Do
  • “Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.” ~ Lord Byron
  • “People & things do not upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing that they can upset us.” ~ Albert Ellis
  • “Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” ~Theodore N. Vail

4. GreatestQuotes:

  • “Opportunities multiply as they are seized.” – Sun Tzu
  • “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi
  • “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.” – Henry David Thoreau
  • “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” – Sir Winston Churchill
  • “To lead the people, walk behind them.” – Lao Tzu

5. thesecretdaily:

  • “Life is an attitude. It’s what you choose to believe, always.” @DrWayneWDyer
  • “The daily practice of gratitude is one of the conduits by which your wealth will come to you.” – Wallace Wattles
  • “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit.” Napoleon Hill
  • Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. Mahatma Gandhi
  • If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.

There are many, many more people to follow on Twitter that will inspire you. I even follow many more. Body Designer’s account is @Body_Designer and there is also an account for @Kathiesfitblog. Sign up for Twitter today and join in on the fun and get inspired and more!!! Happy Training -Kathie 🙂

 photo/flickr.com/jeff poskanzer