Action Precedes Motiviation – New Year’s Resolution Key

13 Dec

The time is upon us! Time to prepare for new year resolutions. I am here to help you. Here is the first of a few posts to get you motivated to start 2011 fresh!!

Bad habits that keep you from reaching optimal health, such as smoking, drinking or overeating don’t have to follow you into the New Year. However, if you don’t want these habits hanging around for another 12 months, you must prepare yourself psychologically.

Experts agree that no matter how stubborn a habit you’ve developed, there are ways to break those negative patterns and keep healthy resolutions throughout the New Year. The trick is to keep everything in perspective. Perspective, now I like that!!

“Focus on realistic goals with measurable results,” says Jill RachBeisel, M.D., director of Community Psychiatry at the University of Maryland Medical Center and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. “You need to break things down into small steps that you can manage.”

For example, Dr. RachBeisel says that, instead of trying to lose 50 pounds, you should focus on losing five pounds at a time. Instead of trying to lose five pounds a week, focus on losing one pound a week.

“Create bite-sized jobs for yourself that you’ll be able to accomplish,” states Dr. RachBeisel. “If your goal is too big, you’ll feel defeated before you even get started.”

When deciding on your New Year’s resolutions, it is easy to get swept up in hopeful yearning. As the clock ticks away the final minutes of the old year, the excitement can be intoxicating. You believe that you’ll be able to tackle your goals effortlessly. But, after the initial rush of New Year’s celebration fades and reality sets in, your ambitions can once again seem insurmountable.

According to Hinda Dubin, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Maryland School of Medicine and psychiatrist at the University of Maryland Medical Center, the key to achieving even your most lofty goals is to get started immediately.

Action precedes motivation, not the other way around,” said Dr. Dubin. “People often think that they should wait until they are motivated to start doing something good for themselves. They say, ‘I’ll start that diet or fitness program when I’m really well rested and have a lot of energy’. But it doesn’t work that way.”

Dr. Dubin says that instead of waiting for inspiration to act on your goals, you need to take action first and inspiration will follow. Your initial action doesn’t have to be anything big. Just by putting on your sneakers and hopping on the treadmill for 10 minutes, you will make that energy you are “waiting” for materialize.

“Once you initiate an action — even the smallest of actions — you pick up momentum and you realize, ‘Hey, this isn’t so bad,’ and it becomes a lot easier to keep moving forward and to stay motivated,” says Dr. Dubin.

Expert Advice

University of Maryland experts offer these additional tips to help you reach your goals:

  • Avoid perfectionist thinking. While we certainly always want to better ourselves, it is healthier to think in positive terms than it is to focus on how much we fall short of our aspirations. In other words, students should view the grade of an A- as better than a B, rather than not as good as an A.
  • View setbacks as lessons for growth. Mistakes can be, and usually are, opportunities for learning. If you fall short of your goals, ask yourself what kept you from achieving them and then try to make corrections. People who like to sail understand this navigational concept. You almost never go directly from point A to point B. You set a course and periodically take readings of your position then make adjustments as you go along.
  • Don’t make absolute resolutions. Keep them realistic. For example, Dr. Dubin suggests that instead of saying you won’t yell at your kids anymore, resolve to yell at them less often.
  • Don’t keep your resolutions to yourself. Tell someone you trust about your resolutions. Dr. Dubin says that it helps to share your goals with friends, who can gently nudge you in the right direction when you veer off course.
  • Give them some meaning. According to Dr. RachBeisel, people sometimes make goals that aren’t necessarily meaningful to them. Your goal should be something you really desire to change or achieve, not something that society says is good for you to do or your family members would like to see you do. If you don’t have strong, internal motivation within yourself, you won’t be successful.
  • Take baby steps. Set realistic goals that are attainable and then take small steps that are likely to be met with success toward those goals. Don’t try to lose 10 pounds in a week or quit smoking cold turkey with no preparation. Instead, try joining a weight loss program and try to lose a pound a week, or join a smoking cessation group.
  • Fine-tune your spirituality. Dr. Dubin says that it is important to add a spiritual dimension to your goals. For example, if one of your goals is to get fit, you may also resolve to get outdoors more often instead of going to the gym. Time outside will help you get in balance with nature, and will honor both the physical and spiritual sides of yourself.

Your Testimony as Your Gift This Holiday

17 Nov

Want a great gift to give your family and friends this holiday? How about your testimony? Your testimony is important and should not be kept a secret. You should tell your story. And honestly you might want to make God or your Higher Power the core of it all. Let your family and friends know where you have found God’s faithfulness to be true and an important aspect of your life. Let them know the seasons when you wondered about and possibly wandered from the core that has sustained you. This could be the all important impact you make on another’s life.

Here is a list of things you could answer that would tell a good part of the salvation story of your life. This is just part of a list that came from Anthony deMello, a spiritual theologian. Write yours and give your testimony as a gift to your family and friends this holiday.

  1. These things I have loved in my life.
  2. These ideas have brought me liberation.
  3. These beliefs I have outgrown.
  4. These convictions I have lived by.
  5. These sufferings have seasoned me.
  6. These influences have shaped my life.
  7. These persons are enshrined within my heart.
  8. These scripture texts have lit my path.
  9. These things I regret about my life.

These are just a few ideas to get you started. Give the gift this holiday!

Free and Powerful Life Changing E-Course

26 Jul

Sign up for a FREE and very powerful life changing e Course. I guarantee it is powerful and life changing!! I am taking it myself and I have posted some of the class material in my blog. I love this material because it was written a long time ago.  Enjoy!

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Tinman’s Heart Was Always There and So is Yours!

23 Jun


Today is my birthday and this post is a poem that was given to me on my birthday 6 years ago. This is from a very close friend of mine and I just happened to come across it the other day. I realized this is how I life coach everyone who pops into my life. Life coaching is everyone’s job. We simply show each other where our hearts are!

Years ago in my youth, a long way from here,

 I lost it.

 Through the rest of my days I went without it.

But you found it.

Every day the world tries to take it from me

You give it back.

When the day gets too hard,

You find it.

When I am tired and angry,

You find it.

When I don’t feel like going on,

You find it.

When I don’t find love,

You find it.

And from now until my eyes see the last light of day,

Your memory and what you found will be with me always.

And now at this time of my life, I would like to thank you for what you found, and for making my life complete.

And in case you are wondering what you found…..

It was the Tinman’s heart.

Happy Birthday – With All of my Love – D  June 23, 2004

In the Wizard of Oz the characters were searching for something they thought they did not have.  Scarecrow was looking for brain. Tinman was looking for a heart. And Lion was looking for courage. Everyone, every day can identify with one or all 3 of the characters in The Wizard of Oz.  We really possess these traits that we think we do not have. Humans hit all kinds of pains and heartache along the yellow brick road. Silly humans! That is our ego. But if we turn to our Higher Power, we will realize this and we will see the Truth.

The day I met “D” he told me he was “plenty 8” when I asked how old he was. He is quite the charmer. He comes across as the big, tough biker dude and he uses that to his advantage. But he did not fool me for one second. He may have been rough around the edges but I knew about people like him. I met “D” in 2002. I had several rough edges of my own. But we all do when we identify with our egos; which is part of being human.

With “D” it was simple. I just used the gift God gave each of us and helped “D” get in touch with his heart. This is how I coach. Everyone can have that connection if they just lose their ego, turn to your Spirit and trust! It is not always that easy but then again it is. It is the letting go of the ego that is hard for most. They think that the shell (ego) they have built to guard their hurt is what protects them. They lost touch with the Spirit through the abandonment of other humans. Once you know that abandonment was about the other person and not you it is easier. Children can’t see this because they have trusted these adults. But adults are not perfect. The adults are lost in the cycle too. Feel compassion for them. And forgive. To read my blog post about forgiveness click here.

Here is what I tell Tinman all the time. “Thank you for the giving me the credit for finding your heart but it was always there. I just showed you where it was, it was inside my heart. And my heart is where everyone’s heart is – In Spirit!!”

What Are You Attached To?

20 Jun

“Attachment keeps you so restricted that nothing can enter your already filled self.” – Wayne Dyer

Attachment – it is something we all deal with from time to time. It is the nature of being human. But the blessing of attachment comes in the letting go as you can see by Dr. Dyer’s quote. If you can let go long enough you will realize this very real truth. It is the letting go that is hard at first.  But try it because the letting go is worth the reward.

If you wonder what you are attached to, just take a look at your emotional connection to something the second the something is to be taken away. The strongest attachments are usually between a parent and child. Imagine carrying a child for 9 months and the bond that is created in that time.  This is serious attachment. To truly detach from a bond like that is not easy but it is possible. You must trust in Spirit. Spirit is the only thing that can fill everything.

By trusting in Spirit you are able to let go of ego attachments and trust that the bond is still there – because it is! There is nothing that can take that bond away. Not even death can take away the bond of Spirit. But you can only see that if you are in Spirit.

Attachment is ego. Detachment is spirit.

Let’s take something simple and real ego that you might be attached to because everyone has attachments. It is part of being human. I know one of my attachments is air-conditioning in this 100 degree heat of Texas in June and July. But if that air-conditioning is taken away from you for some reason like, I don’t know a hurricane named Ike, that takes your power out for 11 days. And now you are not only without a/c but also your icebox which stores your cold food that has all of sudden gone bad and now has maggots on it. Ewww – did you know that could happen? And cleaning out an ice box that has gotten warm is not a fun job! Anyhow, back to my first attachment, which is the a/c, I just had to let go and trust. I trusted God and my picture changed.

Things started to fill my “already filled self”. You want to know how? Well neighbors who had power across the street came out and began speaking to one another. Friends I had not really spent time with in years invited me over to spend time with them and I got to really enjoy and appreciate a/c and spend quality time with friends. I had a newfound appreciation for electricity and friendships!

I found that the attachment we have to our homes and our little worlds can keep us so filled that we do not get out and appreciate the things God has put out there for us to appreciate until we are forced to detach. Why not try detaching from something, someone, an expectation, or some place a little every day with gratitude so we can open up those spaces that need to be opened and create flow in our lives?

Detach from everything (outcomes, relationships, experiences) because once you do you make room for more. Trust God with your attachments, give them to Him and once you do you will find so much more room for more! It is like being present in the now. Powerful stuff!

What are you attached to? How can you detach a little bit every day and make room for more that God has for you? Comments welcome! -Kathie 🙂

Ask Yourself This Question: “Will this matter a year from now?”

15 Jun

Several years ago I learned a valuable lesson by asking myself this very question. It really put things in perspective. When I find myself getting upset about anything; and I mean anything, I ask myself that question. You might want to try it too, like right now?

My son played little league baseball at one time. There is one game in particular that stands out in my mind because I was taught a valuable lesson after this game was over. I’d like to think my son learned a lesson that day too.

My son was 10 years old at the time and he was pitching. The game was almost over.  We were the visiting team and we had just gone ahead the previous at bat. This is very important to note!

My son struck out the previous two batters and there was only one more batter to face. Had my son’s team been given the time to get the out, we would have won the game. Just like in any real baseball game right? But hold on one minute, there was silly “rule” that totally turned things around. You see, time in the game was about to run out. There was this funny rule that stated the score would revert back to the previous inning score if time was to run out.  Crazy I know but I had to re-frame things using a bigger frame, ya know. Alot of times that is all it takes – a bigger frame.

There is a Walt Disney quote I have that says, “You may not realize it when it happens to you, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing that happens to you.”

Put things in perspective when it is happening. Step outside the box for a minute when things seem to be crumbling down all around you and ask yourself that very question, “Will this matter a year from now?” Most likely it will not! Even a little league baseball game. At that moment for me that sentence was – especially a little league baseball game!! Actually I stepped outside myself for a minute and asked this question. Perspective was my answer.

So when it comes down to it and you think your really upset; which is really just an ego illusion anyhow; (psycho-mumbo jumbo) ask:  “Will this matter a year from now?” Had everyone in this story asked themself this question perhaps the integrity would have stepped up to the plate instead of the win-tegrity. lol I crack myself up sometimes!!! 🙂

  Ask yourself:“Will this matter a year from now?” Put things in perspective NOW!

Like this blog post? Sign up for my email newsletter and receive life coaching stories like this in your email box! Or follow me on twitter. Have a story of your own about how something that seemed huge at the time really did not matter that much in the big picture? I am sure you do and I’d love to hear about it. Post your comments below. Thanks, Kathie 🙂

Like this blog post? You might also enjoy: Forgiveness Can Be So Easy or What We Give Others We Also Give Ourselves

Resolve Problems Using the Subconscious Mind

05 Jun

Matthew 18:18-19 I promise you that God in heaven will allow whatever you allow on earth, but he will not allow you anything you don’t allow. I promise that when any two of you on earth agree about something you are praying for, my Father in heaven will do it for you.

An excerpt taken from The Power of the Subconscious Mind, Dr. Murphy says this scripture translates as the two meaning the conscious and subconscious minds. I like that!

I took this directly from the book.  The key is to draw your picture, keep your mind on the picture or what you really want as the solution and then let it go; as you will read in this excerpt by Dr. Joseph Murphy. This is powerful stuff. This is only 2 pages of 172 pages of GREAT MATERIAL. At the bottom of this post is a link to where you can purchase this book.

“The principle reasons for failure are: Lack of confidence and too much effort. Many people block their answers to their prayers by failing to fully comprehend the workings of their subconscious mind. When you know how your mind functions, you gain a measure of confidence. You must remember whenever your subconscious mind accepts an idea; it immediately begins to execute it. It uses all its mighty resources to that end and mobilizes all the mental and spiritual laws of your deeper mind. This law is true for good or bad ideas. Consequently, if you use it negatively, it brings trouble, failure, and confusion. When you use it constructively, it brings guidance, freedom, and peace of mind.

The right answer is inevitable when your thoughts are positive, constructive, and loving. From this it is perfectly obvious that the only thing you have to do in order to overcome failure is to get your subconscious mind to accept your idea or request by feeling its reality now, and the law of your mind will do the rest. Turn over your request with faith and confidence, and your subconscious will take over and answer for you.

You will always fail to get results by trying to use mental coercion – your subconscious mind does not respond to coercion, it responds to your faith or conscious mind acceptance. Your failure to get results may also arise from such statements as: “Things are getting worse.” “I will never get an answer.” “I see no way out.” “It is hopeless.” “I don’t know what to do.” “I’m all mixed up.” When you use such statements, you get no response or co-operation from your subconscious mind.

Like a soldier marking time, you neither go forward nor backward; in other words, you don’t get anywhere. If you get into a taxi and give half dozen different directions to the driver in five minutes, he would become hopelessly confused and probably would refuse to take you anywhere. It is the same when working with your subconscious mind. there must be a clear-cut idea in your mind. You must arrive at the definite decision that there is a way out, a solution to the vexing problem in sickness. Only the infinite intelligence within your subconscious knows the answer. When you come to that clear cut conclusion in your conscious mind, your mind is then made up, and according to your belief is it done unto you.

A wonderful way to get a response from your subconscious mind is through disciplined or scientific imagination. As previously pointed out your mind is the builder of the body and controls all its vital functions.

The Bible says, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. to believe is to accept something as true, or to live in the state of being it. As you sustain this mood, you shall experience the joy of the answered prayer!

3 steps to success in prayer:

  1. Take a look at the problem
  2. Turn to the solution or way out known only to the subconscious mind.
  3. Rest in a sense of deep conviction that it is done.
    Do not weaken your prayer by saying, “I wish I might be healed.” “I hope so.” Your feeling about the work to be done is “the boss.” Harmony is yours. Know that health is yours. Become intelligent by becoming a vehicle for the infinity healing power of the subconscious mind. Pass on the idea of health to your subconscious mind to the point of conviction; then relax. Get yourself off your hands. Say to the condition and circumstance, “This too shall pass.” Through relaxation you impress your subconscious mind enabling the kinetic energy behind the idea to take over and bring it into concrete realization. “

Live a Unified Life

05 Jun

2nd Verse
When people see some things as beautiful, other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good, other things become bad.
Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.
”Therefore the Master acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go. She has but doesn’t possess, acts but doesn’t expect. When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever.”


I love how Wayne Dyer explains this in his book “Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life”. “Did it ever occur to you that beauty depends on something being identified as ugly?” Well he’s right on. Try it sometime. Try not define something as good or bad, beautiful or ugly, tall or short. When you do this you take away limitations and you begin to put yourself at One with God, the Tao, the Universe, your Higher Power, or whatever you may call it. Buy Wayne Dyer’s Book and other great books by clicking on the link below:

This is what Lao Tzu was trying to explain in this Verse and many others, I think. Live a unified life!

And in the latter part of the verse Tzu explains about “Mother Nature acts without doing anything and teaches without saying anything. Notice how nature just is? Things arise and she lets them come; things disappear and she lets them go.” How nice it must be to just let things go? That is what we are to do!

“She has but doesn’t possess, acts but doesn’t expect. And she has everything and she does not hold on tight to it! She acts and does not expect.” This is what Jesus meant when he spoke of the ravens and how God feeds them and how humans are more valuable than ravens. Do not worry, scripture says! Luke 12:24

“When her work is done, she forgets it. That is why it lasts forever.” If only we can learn from Mother Nature.

Observe nature, meditate on nature, it will surely calm you, especially how nature does her work, without effort and forgets about it.

Watch Mother Nature and learn this lesson. Your life will be more peaceful. This is Divine Law!

Try it sometime! -K

Give Evil Nothing to Oppose and It Will Disappear

01 Jun

Governing a large country is like frying a small fish You spoil it with too much poking Approach the Universe with the Tao and evil will have no power.
Not that evil is not powerful, but its power will not be used to harm others.
Not only will it not do harm to others but the sage himself will also be protected.
If only the ruler and his people would refrain from harming each other,
all the benefits of life would accumulate in the kingdom.
Verse 60 of the Tao Te Ching

 If you have no ill thoughts toward yourself or others the powers of wickedness and wrongdoing will be rendered impotent. It is divine law that you are protected and as long as you give evil nothing to oppose it will disappear.

Lydia, my best friend, told me a story today that is very relevant to this. She said that one day her hair salon was broken into. When the robbers broke in they stole jewelry from the nail tech and they actually bagged up products of Lydia’s. They stole things of value from the nail tech but they left Lydia’s stuff. Lydia is a person of good will and a good heart. She was protected. They bagged up those items but did not take them.

Here is a great story that I read in one of Dr. Joseph Murphy’s books. He said he had a conference with an ex-Sergeant of the Army, who had returned from Vietnam. He told of a fascinating and absorbing episode which had occurred during his tour of duty there. One afternoon when he was on patrol with his men they walked right into six Viet Cong soldiers, who immediately killed all five men in his patrol before they could lift their rifles. Obviously, the Viet Cong had seen them coming and had ambushed them.

The enemy soldiers looked straight at him but never spoke or indicated they saw him. They went through the pockets of his men and took papers, weapons, and all contents. He was amazed and could not understand it. He found his way back to his battalion and later wrote about his experience to his mother in Kentucky. She wrote back: “They did not see you, son. They could not see you or touch you because I have prayed daily, ‘My son will always be invisible to the enemy. God is his refuge and fortress.’”

This man’s mother decreed constantly that her son would be invisible to the enemy and would be protected by God. This was communicated to her son’s subconscious mind, which responded according to the impression or decree given. Every letter she wrote her son concluded with these words taken from the 46th Psalm: “God shall help you, and that right early.”

Undoubtedly these letters and prayers written by his mother had a profound effect upon him and made a deep impression in his subconscious mind, which responded to her conviction of God’s protection for him.

He gave evil nothing to oppose and it disappeared, actually he disappeared!

Turn Pain Into Spiritual Awakening

15 May

Eckhart Tolle in A New Earth says: “People with strong pain-bodies often reach a point where they feel their life is becoming unbearable, where they can’t take any more pain, any more drama.”
And: “If peace really mattered to you….you would remain nonreactive and absolutely alert when confronted with challenging people or situations. You would immediately accept the situation and thus become one with it rather than separate yourself from it. Then out of your alertness would come a response. ….It would be powerful and effective and would make no person or situation into an enemy.”

He says….”Some people may feel, as I did, that they cannot live with themselves anymore. Inner peace then becomes their first priority. Their acute emotional pain forces them to disidentify from the content of their minds and the mental-emotional structures that give birth to and perpetuate the unhappy me. They then know that neither their unhappy story nor the emotion that they feel is who they are. Rather than pulling them into unconsciousness, the pain-body becomes their awakener, the decisive factor that forces them into a state of Presence.”

Every single one of us goes through trying times. But there is an easy way and those times do not have to be so trying. You can come to a place where trying times do not even happen to you. This is an absolute fact!!

When Eckhart Tolle’s book A New Earth came out Oprah Winfrey held a 10 week  This was a very powerful class. I suggest that if you have the time, take the class and most definitely read the book. However, if you get the book and begin reading it, you may feel it above your head. If this is the case don’t worry, you are just not at a place in your life right now to get it. Put it down and pick it up later. There will be a right time to get it.

Awakening and coming into a consciousness moment can be a very powerful thing. It happened to me on February 27, 2008. Yes I remember the day, moment and everything. A very painful experience in my life that had been ongoing for years had come to its end in a very unbearable situation – well I labeled it unbearable then it really was not so bad. I thought I could take no more pain and definitely no more drama. Drama is immature. I finally said to myself, “I have had enough!” I let it all go. And once I did that every single thing in my life changed. Every single thing!

Like Eckhart said, “It would be so powerful and so effective and would make no person or situation into an enemy.” I became one with every single thing in the world. One with the moment and one with what is. The key was I quit resisting.

Resistance my dear friend is the reason for all unhappiness. If you look at anything you are unhappy about, I don’t care what it is, you will find the root of it is resistance. So, let go of that resistance and you will find a window of opportunity there. I did.

Now I did let go of resistance in that big situation in my life and it opened all kinds of doors for me. Funny thing, I am human and today I encounter a whole new set of problems with resistance of a different kind. I know in my mind that I need to let go and not resist the situation and I am working on it but I have my days where that resistance creeps in. Just let go and let God. It can be that simple if you let it!

I will leave you with a great example of letting go….When Oprah first got her start in television she was a TV reporter. She read the book The Color Purple. There was a character in the book she completely identified with because this girl was abused as a child, like Oprah. The author even had the strength to write about it and help others. This inspired Oprah. Can you imagine being the person who inspired Oprah?

Well one day Oprah heard they were going to make a movie about this book. Oprah tried out for the part and she really wanted this part more than anything in the world. After the audition she went months without hearing from the movie producers. She just knew it was because she weighed too much so she went off to a health retreat to lose some weight.

While at the health retreat she kept thinking day and night about how badly she wanted this part and she focused on getting in shape. One early morning while out running on the track she began singing a hymn that spoke about letting go and she then turned the entire thing over to God. Right there and then she turned the entire everything over to God and she let go of the outcome. She quit resisting. Interesting….

Three days later a call came in to Oprah from Stephen Speilberg. He said, “So I hear you are at a fat farm.” Oprah said, “Well, I prefer to call it a health retreat.” He said, “Well don’t lose another pound you got the part and your character needs the weight!” Oprah quickly packed her bags and headed home.

See what happens when you quit resisting? And when you let go of that pain and agony of what you thought was so bad? As Shakespeare says, “Things are neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so.” Turn your pain into spiritual awakening – it happens all the time!